My former girlfriend hated marijuana, but I didn’t discover this until after we’d started dating.
That put me in a tough spot. By that point, I was already a chronic smoker. I didn’t even know how to stop smoking weed. I hadn’t heard of Quit Marijuana: The Complete Guide yet, so I figured I’d be a pothead for the rest of my life.
However, I really liked this girl. She had no idea that I smoked, and I was afraid that if I told her, she’d break up with me.
Should I stop smoking weed, I thought, or should I say nothing and try to hide it from her?
I finally decided to tell her the truth because I didn’t want our relationship to be based on a lie.
At first, she was upset. She felt that I should have told her the truth a lot sooner.
However, once she saw how much I was struggling with my weed dependency, she calmed down. She told me that if I was willing to learn how to quit smoking weed, she would support me.
I didn’t want to lose her, so I decided to give it a shot. I gave up weed.
At least, I tried to give up weed.
I lasted about two weeks, and it was the worst two weeks of my life. When I eventually relapsed, I didn’t tell my girlfriend.
That was a huge mistake.
She showed up at my apartment one day, unannounced. I had just smoked a bowl and had no time to get the smell out of the room. The minute she walked in, her face wrinkled up.
“Are you smoking marijuana in here?” she asked.
We got into a fight, and it ended up being the last fight we ever had. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Why I Failed
Looking back on it, I see now that I was doomed from the start because I didn’t really want to give up smoking weed. I only tried to quit because I wanted my girlfriend to be happy.
The irony is that I started resenting my girlfriend. I felt like she was trying to control my life. If I wanted to smoke weed, why was that any of her business?
It didn’t help that I was also going through withdrawal, which I also blamed on her.
Ultimately, my girlfriend wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I didn’t have the proper motivation to quit.
Your Significant Other Can’t Make You Quit
There’s a difference between quitting marijuana to make your significant other happy and quitting marijuana in order to save a relationship.
If you quit marijuana in order to make someone happy, you’re not actually dealing with the root issues that made you become a chronic weed smoker in the first place.
Instead, you’re depending on another person to give you the motivation to quit.
That’s a huge burden to put on someone.
What will you do if the two of you get into a fight? What will you do if you’re not able to please your significant other, no matter what you do?
What will you do if the two of you break up?
If the relationship falls apart, your motivation to stop smoking weed will fall apart as well.
Smoking Weed Can Harm Your Relationship
I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I’m not saying you should smoke weed, regardless of how it affects the other people in your life.
We all need healthy relationships. We’re social animals. We need each other in order to function in the world.
I found that weed made me extremely anti-social. It was too difficult to be fully present when other people were talking to me. My mind would start racing, and I’d miss huge parts of conversations.
Ultimately, I just wanted to be left alone, which is why, for a period of my time, I hardly left my apartment. I let my friendships fall apart, which made me feel more isolated than I already was.
There’s no question that weed was having a negative impact on my relationships. I believe that relationships are worth saving, even if it means learning how to quit smoking weed.
Being In a Relationship Means Being a Part of a Team
Some people make their relationships all about the other person. They’re looking for the perfect mate, and they see their significant other as someone who will constantly provide them with happiness and stability.
To me, this doesn’t sound like a recipe for a healthy relationship. We’re only human. We can be there for one another and support one another, but we can’t save each other. We can’t make each other happy all of the time.
I think the most successful relationships focus on common goals. Common goals include things like starting and raising a family, working towards a specific kind of lifestyle or building careers for yourselves that will sustain the two of you over the years.
Relationships are ultimately about teamwork, and a team can only be as strong as its weakest member.
If your significant other thinks that marijuana is ruining your relationship, try to hear everything he or she is saying. Be honest with yourself about how your weed habit is affecting your relationship. Ask yourself, “Should I stop smoking weed or am I really willing to let this relationship fall apart?”
If you want to figure how to stop smoking weed, your motivation has to come from you, not your significant other. They can support you and inspire you, but you’re the only one who has the power to quit marijuana for good.