Most of us smoke weed for the first time out of peer pressure. If you like it enough, you start smoking socially and recreationally. At this point it’s all good. No serious harm done except for the death of a few brain cells.
Then there are those of us who take it to the next step. We’ve found out what weed can do so we use it to self medicate. This is how medical marijuana came about. Humankind found out that marijuana relieves symptoms. By the way, I’ve got nothing against medical marijuana in the right circumstances.
One of the most common symptoms that us pot smokers like to alleviate with pot is anxiety. Anxiety is basically a symptom of living. So far so good until the pot actually begins to create even more anxiety. That’s how it worked for me anyway.
A lot of us experience paranoia with pot and paranoia definitely fuels anxiety. In the early stages of developing a pot smoking habit, the paranoia might not seem significant. You learn to deal with it. You know it will pass.
I don’t know about you, but for me, I didn’t always get paranoid when I smoked pot but when I did, it was downright crippling. My paranoia was very seldom the kind where I felt like someone was watching me.
My paranoia was about obsession.
It generally went like this: I would get home, smoke some weed, feel the euphoria for a little while and then right after the high had peaked I would begin thinking about some event from the day and start obsessing over it. These relentless thoughts would start swirling around in my brain like…Did I say the right thing? Did I make the right decision? They’re mad at me. I’m gonna get fired tomorrow. They think I’m stupid. And on and on and on I had these maddening thoughts like I had f*ckd everything up and tomorrow I’m going to pay the price.
Have any of you out there experienced this?
As the high wore off, the rational part of my brain would start to reassure me that it was just the weed talking. Indeed it was but once the train gets rolling it’s hard to stop and so all evening these thoughts about failure, or ostracism, or whatever, would just nag at me. Of course this would cause anxiety and to beat back down the anxiety if only for 15 minutes, I would smoke some more pot and thus the paradox of curing anxiety while creating more at the same time rolls on.
In these last several months of not smoking weed, I don’t have this problem. So it wasn’t me, it was the weed. The same crap still happens in everyday life but my clean, lucid mind doesn’t worry incessantly over it the way my weed addled mind did.
Now, some denizen of the 420 tribe will probably read this and say “Dude, you were just smoking the wrong kind of weed, get the kind that doesn’t make you paranoid.” Well, I tried that. I would tell my dealers “get me some of the kind that doesn’t make you paranoid.”
The next time around they would say they got me some chill stuff but they didn’t know what they were talking about, and neither did their suppliers. Even if they could deliver such a product, there were plenty of other reasons to quit.
Anyhow, the paranoia and its associated anxiety were among the top reasons I had to quit smoking weed and I’m so glad I did it.