I woke up this morning, looked out my bedroom window and saw the sun shining and heard the birds chirping.  I knew from the weather forecast that the high (there’s that word) was going to be around 70F.  A flawless spring day was shaping up before my very eyes and this sublime yet hideous thought passed through my waking brain:  “this would be a great day to smoke weed.”  Then I realized “wait, I don’t smoke weed anymore.”

No, I didn’t start scrambling through my phone list to see if I could scrounge up some weed.  I felt pretty good about having a brief moment of temptation and quickly overcoming it but I got to thinking:  would it ever be acceptable ever again in my life to smoke weed? 

This reminded me of a Seth Meyers skit on SNL a couple of years back about Michael Phelps smoking weed.  The gist of it was this:  if a kid tells his parent “if Michael Phelps smokes weed then why can’t I?” then the parent’s reply should be “go out and win 12 gold medals for your country, then you can smoke all of the weed you want.”

My Great Day to Smoke Weed (Maybe):

So I decided to apply this same logic to my own life.  Before I ever smoke weed again, I need to accomplish everything on this list:

  • My mortgage is completely paid off and I own my house out right.
  • I have no debt of any kind whatsoever.
  • I have $1 million in an interest bearing account.

That’s it.  This is all I have to achieve before allowing myself to smoke weed again.

It’s definitely going to take NOT being stoned if I’m going to have a chance at these things.  Also, if I do these things, I may not have any desire to smoke weed.  Life will be just too grand.  But if I still do have the desire, this would be a great day to smoke weed.  What do you think?  Got your own list?